Clouded vision.

This weekend, the weekend that I had such high hopes for actually turned out to be rather dull. Guelph Friday, downtown Saturday, but no Drake because of a vicious toothache [yes, toothache].

Oh well.

RANT:

So I couldn't help overhearing a conversation in one of my classes the other day. One of the A&E reporters was bitching to her friend about how it's the same people getting published and the only reason she got published this week was by default. She said that it's not fair and that she wants to talk to the editors about it.
WHAT THE FUCK?
You're writing is not going to make it into the paper if it sucks! It's not a matter of picking favourites, it's a matter of you're writing being too shitty to make it in, you idiot. If this is going to be your standpoint in the future, when you actually have a serious job at a newspaper, I hope you don't think your editor is going to slide your piece into the section on the basis of fairness. Seriously, grow up! Maybe this should be considered a wake up call.

These seemingly endless nights call for seemingly endless thoughts.

Uh oh. That feeling is back again. You know, the one where you just really want to fall in love...

Back when things were perfect...

Sometimes, I really miss this. Maybe I always will.

Untitled

I'm SO into beards right now...seriously.

"We keep secrets to protect the ones that we love"

I think I'm addicted to blogging. For real.

Second article is being published... zing!
Find it on [Humber] news stands tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm blowing off class today in preparation for getting interviews set up for Nuit Blanche.
Oh yeah, you should all come out. Saturday night at the Drake, last call is at 4a.m. Could it get any better you ask?
Well, actually, it could. Trishelle and I will be there getting awesome [and scummy] so come say hi!

READ THESE

Seriously...now.

"Identity is artificial." -Coupland

billows of white smoke
make bridges impossible to cross
the rain falls hard tonight
hold my hands through this
without you I am too weak for these words

tonight I call you my lover
but tomorrow I am widowed
you were my calm
you were my storm


"Maybe sometimes you have to lose who you were to find out who you are."

"You have to understand your own mind in order for your reader to understand your mind."

So... what if I don't?

I leaned on the wall and the wall leaned away.

this FRIGHTENS me.

Everything gets so much louder when the lights go off.

Today is dull and it will be what seems like forever until I'm back home after a long day of deadlines, shitty lectures and "work."
On a positive note, things I have to look forward to this week include:
-the week being over
-having Friday off
-Nuit Blanche on Saturday and getting messy at the Drake
-and, at some point during this busy and seemingly endless week, this:


I'm really feeling a photoshoot coming on soon. I will be behind the camera, of course. I have a detailed idea of what I want to do in my head, it's now just a matter of getting someone to wear a white dress and emerge themselves in probably by now pretty fucking cold water. Let me know if you're interested.

you know I dreamed about you
for twenty-nine years
before I saw you
you know I dreamed about you
I missed you for
for twenty-nine years

Though I'm convinced now you're out of your mind, it's good thinking about it.

My life kind of resembles my room right now; a fucking disaster. I need an intervention, and preferably from a cute boy. Takers?

Addictions and Affirmations

a boy in which we could trust our sin
the glimmer of copper at the bottom of the well
a sigh of relief escapes tired lips;
pressing on, but still holding back
stretching hope as far as it would reach
all the while discovering the voice of reason won't fall on deaf ears or a hollow heart
"We shan't be mocked, we offer you all but our name. Give in, give in!"
We collapse into weaker versions of ourselves
bending our limbs, bending the truth
folding ourselves in

Safely expecting the worst

And today will forever be known as the day I got rejected. Legitimately, might I add, but I definitely feel like a bit of an asshole. But hey, you know what they say... you'll never find it if you're looking. So hear I sit, patiently waiting. [Trishelle: fuck this, let's get scummy.]

the end.

"Now they have an image in their head that they can't shake"

So I've been without a cellphone for a few days, and It's made me realize I'm actually NOT that dependent on technology. Haha, who am I kidding, I've been going insane [if we still spoke, you'd be laughing out loud right now.]

This is actually a lot easier than writing in a journal.Things have been pretty hectic lately. School has been claiming most of my free time, but it all seems to be paying off. My first story will be published... PHYSICALLY in the paper tomorrow. I'll post it on here when I get the chance.I was able to get down to the ROM last week to get some information on a story I was doing. I went to see the Darfur/Darfur exhibit, and it was absolutely incredible.

This photo is just one of the many haunting images that were projected on the face of the Michael Lee-Chin Crystal. It was really quite amazing.

Photo by: Michal Ronnen Safdie

Anyway, my week has consisted of a lot of running around downtown and trying to put this story together, but it paid off because now I'm finally published. I can't really complain about having to be downtown either. I love the atmosphere down there. If only I could save money, then maybe I'd already have my own place. One day.

There's definitely a need to mention Thursday night. Though I don't recall much of it, judging by my state at the end of the night, it was evidently a pretty good one. Friday morning, however, was a different story.

<3

Life is beautiful.

This is an old post from some time in June. I remember thinking it was pretty cheesy as I was writing it, but looking back on it after 3 months, I kind of like it...

I thought I'd try out the whole blogging thing. I'm not sure if i'll like it. I like physically writing in my journal. I find it's more personal, but typing away is so much faster.Today was just one of those perfect days where nothing ever goes wrong. After driving back from Brampton, I went over to Steph's house before going swimming at Graham and Lindsay's. Kreplin was still sprawled across her bed when I got there [2p.m.], so while she showered I got bored and took some pictures.

It was Kri's birthday today, so she came over and met up with us to we could all go to Graham's together. I was a bit apprehensive about going over at first, since I've always gotten the vibe that she didn't like me very much, but it ended up being such a great day. Jen, Phill, Bin, Lindsay, Graham, and Chris were there already; drinking away and lounging by the pool.

I think I was the happiest to see Bin and Phill. Bin and I haven't hung out in MONTHS, aside from our drunken mainstreet hangout on Thursday. And Phill, well Phill just always makes me laugh. He's probably one of the sweetest guys I know.

After discovering that I truly do suck at playing "colours," and a sweet double-man slide, we called it a day, but not before I was stung by a bee.I hadn't been stung since I was maybe 4 years old, and I definitely don't remember the pain being that intense. Kri and Steph tried to cut off my circulation by squeezing my finger as hard as they could, but it really didn't help.

I wish I had brought my camera when I was driving back to Kri's.
The sky looked so beautiful on my drive over. It was like a swirl of purples, oranges and blues. There's this one stretch on Mountainview Road where if you look up right at the tops of the trees, at the narrow space between the 2 tree lines, it looks [and feels] like you're moving with the sky. I tend to notice this often, but today it was especially beautiful.

I have a feeling this may be a long entry, so I'll continue it tomorrow. I'm drained.